How swinger dating works in the US
The basics are the same wherever you live. You create a couple or single profile, describe who you would like to meet and what you are comfortable with, then search by distance, age and profile type. Conversations happen in private messages, and when everyone feels ready you meet somewhere public for a drink or a meal, with no expectation that anything happens on the first date.
What changes across America is scale. In New York or Chicago, a ten-mile radius can include a huge number of people, while in a rural county you may need to search across a wider area, or look at the cities you visit regularly. Swingers Dates lets you adjust your search area at any time, so you can start close to home and widen it once you know how far you are willing to drive.
Lifestyle clubs, takeovers and private meets
The US has a well-developed lifestyle scene. Many cities have on-premise and off-premise clubs, there are lifestyle nights at hotels and bars, and resorts in Mexico and the Caribbean host regular couples' takeovers. Lifestyle cruises and conventions draw couples from across the country.
Plenty of couples never go near any of that. They prefer private meets with one couple or single at a time, arranged after weeks of messages, and they like keeping the lifestyle separate from public events. Swingers Dates is built for that approach. If you are weighing up the two, our article on swinger clubs and online dating sets out the differences.
Travel tips by city
Our city guides cover five of the busiest places for swinger dating in the US. Each one explains how to get around, where to meet for a first drink and how to stay discreet.
- New York: the subway, New Jersey and Long Island, and first-date bars from the West Village to Brooklyn.
- Los Angeles: driving distances, the beach cities, the Valley and weekends in the desert.
- Las Vegas: the Strip, Downtown, local neighborhoods and meeting visitors.
- Miami: Brickell, Wynwood, Miami Beach and the rest of South Florida.
- Chicago: the L, the neighborhoods and the suburbs, plus winter plans.
If you travel often for work, you can set your search area to the city you are visiting and arrange a date there, well away from home.
Beyond the big cities
You do not need to live in a major city to meet like-minded people. Couples in the suburbs of Dallas, Atlanta, Phoenix, Denver and Seattle, in college towns and in rural areas all use Swingers Dates. Outside the big metros, it often makes sense to widen your search radius and suggest meeting in a larger town halfway between you, where a quiet hotel bar or restaurant is easy to find and nobody knows you.
Long drives are part of life in much of the country, so agree in advance who is driving and keep the first date short. Many couples in smaller places find that a weekend trip to a nearby city, with a hotel booked, makes a first meeting feel relaxed rather than rushed.
Privacy and discretion
Discretion matters for many American couples, whether because of work, family or a small community. On Swingers Dates you appear under a username, and other members only ever see a general area, never an exact address. Private photos stay private until you choose to share them, and explicit pictures are blurred until a viewer opts in. If someone pushes to move the conversation to another app too early, a prompt reminds you to take care.
ID verification is optional and open to every member, and staff moderate content and review every report. Block and report are on every profile and conversation. Our safety guide explains how to check that a profile is genuine and what to do before, during and after a first meeting.
Billing appears under a discreet, generic description on your statement, so the charge does not spell out what the site is.
Age and local rules
Members must be 18 or over to use Swingers Dates, or 21 where state law requires it. The legal drinking age across the US is 21, so if you plan to meet in a bar, everyone will need ID. Lifestyle clubs set their own entry rules, and many ask for ID from every guest.
Sexual health
Regular testing is a normal part of the lifestyle, and most experienced couples expect to talk about it before meeting someone new. The CDC's testing locator helps you find confidential testing near your ZIP code, and many cities and counties run their own sexual health clinics.
Prices in dollars
Creating a profile on Swingers Dates costs nothing. Paid membership unlocks the main tools: VIP adds unlimited messages, deeper search filters, members' chat rooms and private group chats, and VIP Plus adds extra visibility with priority for your messages and likes. One month of VIP costs $42.81 and one month of VIP Plus costs $51.39, with plans from one week to twelve months. Twelve-month plans are a single payment that does not renew. Full details are on the membership costs page.
Choosing a site
Americans have many lifestyle sites and apps to choose from, from large networks with event calendars to apps for every kind of open relationship. Our roundup of the best swinger sites in the US compares six of them using each site's own pages, and our individual comparisons cover SDC, Kasidie, SwingLifestyle, AdultFriendFinder and Feeld. If you are using your phone, our guide to swingers apps explains what to look for.
Getting started as a couple
If you are new, the most important conversation is the one you have with each other. Talk about what you are curious about, what is off limits and how you will check in during a date. Our guide to talking to your partner about opening up helps with that first conversation, and our guide to first-time swinger etiquette explains what usually happens on a first date.
Frequently asked questions
Can I use Swingers Dates anywhere in the US?
Yes. Members are spread across the country, and you can set your search area around your home or any city you are visiting.
Is Swingers Dates a lifestyle club?
No. Swingers Dates is a dating site for arranging private swinger dates. It does not run or list clubs or events.
How old do I need to be?
Members must be 18 or over, or 21 where state law requires it. If you meet in a bar, everyone will need to be 21 to drink.
Are prices shown in dollars?
Yes. The membership costs page shows every plan in dollars as well as pounds, and the checkout confirms the total before you pay.
How do I stay discreet?
Use a username and photos that cannot be traced to you, meet away from your own neighborhood and share personal details only once you trust someone. Billing appears under a generic description.